Tuesday, February 23, 2010

SVCU - Raider's Skate to a 3-3 Draw....

With a second wave of "Raider Flu" running rampant through the SVCU ranks, seven committed skaters and a goaltender took on a full force Raider Nation.
Keeping the game close once again, SVCU "Golden" goaltender Mike "Smitty" Smith was forced to make many highlight reel saves early. Capitalizing on limited scoring chances,SVCU sniper Warren "Wheels" Gray made no mistake in letting Raider net minder Warren Clark feel the heat of his wrist shot. Depositing two lasers high glove side, Gray completed the natural hat trick, burning Clark for a third time glove side. Derek "Fold'em" Holtom had a glorious opportunity to put SVCU ahead, but missed a wide open net by mere feet. Unconfirmed injury reports had Holtom breaking his finger on a penalty kill early in the first period.
SVCU goaltender Mike "Smitty" Smith's  name was all over the rumor mill earlier today. Anonymous reports had the cagey tender flying out to Vancouver for a possible start with Team Canada. Unable to substantiate any of these reports, Smith was finally made available for comment earlier this afternoon. " Team Canada said I could have only 1 beer after the game, no chips, and that Pronger was playing no matter what so I told them I was playing for Germany instead."

Next action for SVCU is a Thursday night road trip down 83 for "Wing and Beer fest #3". Late report has the return of Craig " NO Wings No Glory" Zamzow suiting up fresh off an Olympic Hiatus.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

6-5 SVCU gunned down by Outlaws,,,

With both teams feeling the affects of "Corporate Challenging" the previous weekend, this "Wednesday Night Whoop Up" was lack Lustre at best. Teams traded goals early, with Barry "Shooter" Eggie opening the scoring with a beautiful re-direct. The Valley Outlaws increased their lead to three , before SVCU rushing D-man Warren "Wheels" Gray broke in on the right side and wired a wrist shot top shelf. Scoring his second on the evening, Gray closed the gap to two with another twine bulging snipe. Randy "One Zone" Matekia red lighted with two minutes remaining making it a one goal game. Pressing for the equalizer in the dying moments, SVCU gifted goal scorer Brian "Go To" Gilroy was robbed by Outlaw goaltender Derek Poole.
Looking to jump start the team, Elder Statesmen Barry "Shooter" Eggie delivered an open ice hit that quickly added an "Edge" to the second period. Inspired by a teammate old enough to be his father, bruising blue liner Blaine "Crusher" Campbell picked up the physical play and layed some major lumber on opposing fore checking forwards. Held off the score sheet the famed M-G-M line of McDonald, Gray, and Morden had numerous chances but could find no Finnish. Filling in on the blue line for the first time, rookie Ryan "Cowboy" Keowan had a solid game. Despite a shaky start, SVCU Masked Man , Michael "Smitty" Smith was outstanding, keeping CU in the game. Sunday night has SVCU facing cross town rivals Swan River Raiders for the fifth time this season.

Shooter's hit ranks # 6

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Craig " Bud Light" Zamzow and his "Kin" friends plan the party...

Gathering of Kinsmen Clan always starts with a call from Craig "Bud Light" Zamzow. Feel free to put a name to each one of the staunch members.

James "Zebra" Webster...

Unconfirmed reports have current referee in chief of  the Swan Valley Old Timer's Hockey League (SVOHL) Jimmy "The Zebra" Webster  leaving Swan Valley Vision Center late last Thursday evening. Although unable to substantiate these sightings,  events in the the past few weeks all seem reason enough to find truth in this story. Recent questionable "Off side " calls have GM's around the league shaking their heads in dismay. When asked to comment on these latest allegations Webster was quick to respond " If your talking about McDonald who skates with  SVCU, perhaps you should be asking him if he has considered leg extensions, or maybe coming back into his defensive zone once in a friggin while!"

SVCU "Shit the Bed " with 8 mins to Go....

Not since the famed Kings-Oilers 1982 comeback dubbed "The Miracle on Manchester" has a team shown a total disregard for a more than worthy adversary.
A melt down of epic proportions led to a demoralizing 6-5 loss at the hands of the Bowsman Silver Seven. Leading 5-2 with less than 8 minutes remaining, SVCU pulled off a finish that would even have left Leaf fans shaking their heads. A fast paced , tight checking game, had the score tied at 2 after the first period. SVCU took the the lead early in the second on a sweet Deke, by Jeff "Nifty " Knight, and seconds later went ahead by 2 on Knight's second of the evening. SVCU back stopper, Mike "Smitty" Smith made what at the time should have been the TSN Turning Point of the game. Silver Seven Flashy Forward Leon Mykula broke in all alone only to be robbed by Smith's lightning-quick right hand. On the ensuing odd man rush, Rob "Close your eyes and Shoot" McDonald threaded the needle with a seeing eye dog that froze Silver Seven Net minder Derek Poole. Sitting back on a three goal lead was not part of the game plan. Silver Seven answered with 2 quick goals, and sensing a sinking ship, attacked the SVCU goal relentlessly. Despite a more than heroic effort on the part of Smith, when the smoke had cleared, SVCU found themselves reeling on the hind end of a 6-5 loss. Rounding out the scoring for SVCU , Pat "Pumper" Morden and Jeremy "Go Daddy " Gray with singles.
SVCU bulking blue liner Craig "Wings " Zamzow will be absent from line up for the next 2 weeks as he is going on an "Olympic Break" Hiatus. Director of player personnel and former SVCU all star and league penalty minute leader David "Dr. Hook" Bettesworth voiced his concern over the D man's decision. " Craig has logged a lot of ice time in the past month and was working his way down to being only 75 lbs. from his ideal playing weight. We have been in contact with Canada Place Athlete Training Facility and have secured him some time with Olympic Men's Hockey Fitness Guru Steve Van Shubert. The bottom line is that he has to take some responsibility and show some discipline and commitment so he can be ready for the cup run. By no means is he to come within 50 meters of the famed "Vancouver West Side Wing Shack." Neither Zamzow or his agent could not be reached for comment.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Man's Last Stand ...

Love the Super Bowl Commercials....

Action take it hard on the Chin ...

Revenge was sweet for SVCU Monday night as they avenged the recent debacle where Action took them out behind the woodshed.

SVCU, ravaged by a severe case of the Action flu, managed only 5 regular skaters and Danton Ashcroft as an AP.

Despite facing the young legs of former Stamps Ryan Bettesworth and Wayne Bass, SVCU's slick puck movement (reminiscent of the Central Red Army KLM Line) led the short-staffed club to a 21-7 victory Monday night.

As always Smitty was a rock between the pipes as he foiled both Bass and Bettesworth on penalty shots, not to mention stoning Wally on several glorious opportunities.

Leading the way offensively was the club patriarch Barnes "Blast" Minish and Pat "PIM" Morden with 5 goals apiece.

"Dangerous" Derek Holtom lit the lamps for 3 and threw in a hatty celebration Tiger Williams would have been proud of.

Jeremy "stick handle in a phone booth" Gray added 3 goals and a franchise record 14 assists.

On the back end Danton "Cole" Ashcroft (in his 2nd AP stint of the season) was an absolute rock on the blue line, covering for his wandering d partner all night, while finding time to chip in 2 goals.

Craig "Benedict Arnold" Zamzow was traded back from Action for one stubby Club during the pre-game skate and managed to chip in 2 goals while only being on for 7 against. The tidy +14 will improve his season +/- to respectable double digits (-96).

The club suffered from a vast array of excuses on the night, Shooter in Mexico, Wheels in Texas, Cowboy in Edmonton, Soup at Karch Kiraly Camp, Gil finishing a 3-course meal of black-eyed peas and cracked ribs, Blogmeister AWOL, and Meathead seeding his Winter Wheat.

SVCU hits the ice Wednesday night vs Silver Seven, and hope to have a much better turnout.

Tourney coordinator updated the club and advised we are presently at 11 teams for the Easter Weekend tourney.

Waiting on feedback from a couple Federal League teams as well as the Barrows Golden Arrows to see who will the fill the 12th and final spot in the 35th Annual Event.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Loggers feel the Offensive Wrath...Mateika Close to Record...

Not since his glory days with the Minitonas Eagles  has Randy "The Eagle has landed" Mateika posted numbers like this. Leaving all skating and corner work to his line mates  A.P. call up Karter "P.P." Priesten and stand out rookie Ryan "Cowboy" Keowan, Mateika was found parked on the opposition blue line all night. Even a questionable penalty shot call in Mateika's favor, could not help the proverbial "garbage collector" break the record. Chasing Mateika in this offensive onslaught , Kevin "Special K" Kopecky fell short by one, bulging the twine seven times. Also contributing to the Minitonas Massacre , Karter " P.P." Priesten and Rob "set the plate" McDonald with 4, Brian " missed that one" Minish, Ryan "Cowboy" Keowan , and Dancing Danton Ashcroft with 3 apiece. Rounding out the scoring A,P. call up Riley "Gunnar" Morden with 2. The News of  "No Wings or Pizza" for a post game meal, despite many calls that fell on deaf ears, seemed to throw Craig "Wings" Zamzow and Pat "Pumper" Morden off their game and the score sheet. Redemption can come on Monday night when SVCU and Action have a return match.
Training Video for Randy " Break Away" Mateika...

S.V.C.U. run the "Rapids"... 8-6.

A fast paced, end to end game saw the return of two veterans and a hired gun as SVCU downed Pelican Rapids 8- 6. Fresh off a 12 day "Sun and Sand" retreat, Blaine " Fabutan" Campbell was welcomed back on the blue line with open arms.The big Blue liner may have had trouble finding his legs, but not his penchant for smack talking fellow teammates. Donning the pads for the first time two weeks ,SVCU all star puck stopper Mike "Smitty" Smith wasted no time in testing out the vulnerable lower body injury. Taking two questionable rockets off the wire in stride, Smitty once again showed why he is without a doubt one of the leagues premiere net minders. The famed "M-G-M " line reunited once again accounted for 4 of the 8 goals. Unconfirmed sources have stated that this may have been Brian "Glitzy" Gilroy's last game in a SVCU jersey. The gifted goal scorer finished the game with 3 goals and 2 assists. "I need to spend more quality time with my wife", Gilroy was quoted after seen exiting the Star Cinema Friday evening. The other half of the famed" Biggest Loser Tandem",  Derek "Holly Wood" Holtom was also seen escorting his wife out of the cinema.  Both players missed Friday's game in Minitonas and may be facing possible fines and suspensions. Team General manager and Director of player personnel Dave "Dr.Hook" Bettesworth was unavailable for comment.