Monday, October 29, 2012

Zamzow in "Prickly Situation" in Phoenix...

While on a Kinsmen retreat to Phoenix, Arizona this week, part of the festivities included a round of golf at the TPC Stadium Course in Scottsdale (home of the PGA's Waste Management Open held every February). While awaiting to tee off on hole #16, Mr. Zamzow accidentally backed into a cactus that resulted in about 1,000 cactus needles in his ass, legs & heels. After many minutes of crying & bleeding while pulling out the needles, Craig was able to carry on with his game, albeit in a fair amount of pain. With his shorts full of needles, he proceeded to literally toss them into the garbage and play the final 3 holes in his briefs and bare feet. TPC staff believe that is truly the first time such a feat has ever been done, including the days when Tiger Woods was running roughshod over the legions of adoring female fans while stripping off clothing in an effort to get to the now famous '19th hole' that came to light years after the fact. Despite his injuries, Mr. Zamzow was able to draw cheers from the crowd as he made the walk to the 18th green. Tournament officials were waiting on the green to lead him to the local authorities who very curious to find out what he deemed as appropriate public golf attire here in the fine state of Arizona! 

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Season Opener ends in 4-4 Draw...

Forty minutes of what could only be classified as "Still better than Lockout" hockey, solved nothing as CU and the Swan River Raiders skated to a 4-4 draw. A.P. stand out Ryan "Ribs" Cable lead all scorers with a pair, while singles went to Riley "Grin" Morden and Jeremy "Jack and Cola" Gray.
Making his CU debut, Geremy "Knockem Down" Newberry admirably filled in on the back-end for a vacationing Craig "Zdeno" Zamzow. Blocking shots, foiling "Three on Ones", Newberry looked more like a seasoned veteran than a glassy eyed rookie. A game which saw the lead see-saw back and forth, looked like it was going to slip away from CU, if not for the last minute heroics of Jeremy "J.D." Gray. Finding themselves down a goal in the dying minutes, the soft of hands of "J.D.", released a bullet along the ice that handcuffed Raider Goaltender Warren " Crease" Clark!
Face off woes continue for struggling center men Kevin " I think I'm gonna play the stick this time" Kopecky, as the unofficial stats had the cagey draw master going 2 for 12 in the circle. Help could be on the way, as team will be travelling to Roblin in a few weeks as defending champs in the Roblin Hounds Second Annual Fall Classic. President and 5 time league all-star Blaine "30 secs on then off" Campbell has been inquiring about the availability of former C.U. Face-Off specialist and current Roblin Hound Ryan "Cowboy" Keown. "Kopecky is struggling in every aspect, his confidence is down, I just think a few minutes with the Cowboy may help him ! " Kopecky who was unavailable for comment, was last seen at his son's Novice practice, working on his technique and looking for pointers.
Despite following a rather intense and often controversial off-season dry land program, CU power forward Mark "More Eggs" Munro will remain on the I.R.list.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Team "Sizzlin" wins the CU Jug!

Team "Sizzlin Young Guns!"
It was a hard fought battle on the links , but when the dust cleared, Team "Rob's Sizzlin Young Guns", were just to much for "Jeff's Old Knights!" Finishing up in the clubhouse with a convincing 4 shot lead, McDonald accepted the the "CU" Jug on behalf of his elite eight member team. After a blistering -8 opening front nine by the pairings of Pat "Down the Middle" Morden, and Jarret " Heavy Hitter" Henderson, Team "Sizzlin" went out and played a near flawless combined round of even par on the back nine. Much discussion surrounding the Captains Picks was heavily debated at the 19th Hole. Team "Old Knight's", captain and one time caddie for legendary CPA golfer Jim Nelford, Jeff  "Divot Digger" Knight relied heavily on the sibling pairings of Gray and Zamzow. Team "Sizzlin's " captain and 28 handicapper, Rob "I think I see the beer cart" McDonald favored a more diversified team that included the likes of Brian " Mulligan" Minish, Soup " Canned it" Campbell, and the Black Ace of the team Mike " Smooth as Silk" Smith. The festivities continued at team "Sizzlin's", where both team captains were awarded the illustrious "Golden Skate", a milestone piece of club hardware.

"Nifty Fifty" Knighter

Grumpy Old Men!