Thursday, February 24, 2011

SVCU cage Tigers 11-6...

In a game where the age difference was down right shocking, veteran SVCU forward Brian "Magic Man " Minish showed that he still has the legs of a 20 year old. Minish was all over the ice, first on the fore check, picking up a winger on the back check, running the cycle out of the corner, all contributing  to  finishing the evening with a hat trick. Old enough to be a grandparent to over three quarters of the Tiger lineup, Minish did not let this deter him from his game . "I'm very impressed with his speed, it is very deceptive, I had a hard time  keeping up to the old man all evening!" commented defense man turned forward Blaine"Soup" Campbell. When asked about this new found youthful enthusiasm, Minish was quick to respond, " I always have taken great pride in the fact that I run regularly, and man , my new skates are the bomb!"

Bud Light Game Star

Playing on a line with Minish, and Campbell,  power forward Pat "Crusher" Morden bulged the twine twice, with Campbell chipping in a single. Centering the shut down line of Holtom, Mateika,and  McDonald, Randy "Red Light"  Mateika continued his scoring prowess by potting two and assisting on two others.
Rounding out the SVCU scoring with singles were Derek "DH" Holtom, Rob "Blogmeister" McDonald, and Warren "Wheels" Gray.
Injury update has SVCU all-star puck stopper Mike "Palmateer" Smith remaining on the injury reserve list and will be out indefinitely with an undisclosed lower body injury . Negotiations have re-opened to sign veteran blue paint specialist Darren "Smirnoff " Fedorchuk to an extension on his current week to week contract. Although details are unavailable at this time, Fedorchuk's agent and  former Bowsman Burner standout Stuart "Killer" Kilfoyle  has informed that the two sides are close, with only some minor concessions to be made in terms of the availability and quantity of a certain post game replenishment fluid.

Monday, February 21, 2011

SVCU successfully hunt down the "Mighty Bucks" 9-6...

Still feeling the sting from last weeks schooling at the hands of the Valley Outlaws, SVCU wanted to get back into the win column as quick as possible. Despite running  a short bench once again, the Red Machine did not disappoint. Leading in minutes played (60), as well as in scoring, registering his 4th Hat Trick of the season, Craig "Zdeno" Zamzow  continues to impress management.  Playing partner Warren "Wheels" Gray also logged a ton of minutes, scoring one and adding a couple of helpers. Jeremy "Where is the Mustard" Gray aka "The kid with the hands of butter", scored two, his second of the evening a seeing eye dog , that stymied Mighty Bucks goaltender Ernie " The Show" Pierrepont  top shelve. Always one to offer up advice to struggling teammates, Gray had this to say " it's all in the hands boys,  some of you need to  get yourself a tennis ball, soften those hands up while watching the tube."

Bud Light Big Three

It appears the honey moon is over between diminutive SVCU forward Rob "Blogmeister" McDonald and veteran referee Jimmy " CNIB" Webster. "He doesn't call a fuckin off side all night, then the minute I'm breaking on a two on one, he has the balls to call it from the far blue line, total  bullshit, if the CNIB is looking for a poster boy, look no further!!!!!"

Happier Times- April 2010

 Adding singles were Blaine "Soup" Campbell, Pat "Crusher" Morden, and Rob "Blogmeister" McDonald.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Outlaws exact "Revenge" on SVCU...

It was simply a  12-5 "Good old Fashioned Ass Kicking", a humbling experience at the hands of the Valley Outlaws. With SVCU stand out puck stopper  Mike "Smitty" Smith shelved  on the 15 day disabled list with a knee injury , CU were fortunate enough to sign veteran  free agent goaltender Darren "Fuddy" Fedorchuk to a short term contract. Facing more than 60 shots, the cagey pad stacker was quoted, " When you have played as many games between the "Bowsman Burners " pipes as I have, 60 shots is a pretty quiet evening, what was a bit disheartening was the fact that someone fucked up the post game refreshment supply !!"  Management was quick to respond assuring the despondent Fedorchuk that the situation would be handled with utmost importance, guaranteeing never to happen again!

With the "Outlaw Flu" running rampant through the ranks, SVCU scouting system was in full force , convincing the Mighty Bucks to release forward "Battling Brad" Cox to fill the void. The big Power Forward welcomed the opportunity , as he is currently in the middle of a five games in three days conditioning stint .

Battlin Brad Cox
Retired Mafeking Laker Defense man Darren "Muggsy" Mullin recruited to help bolster a very depleted CU back end , found the " 60 minute" shift a bit daunting.  "I think logged more minutes this game than I have in the past 2 years!" an exhausted Mullin exclaimed.

Darren " Muggsy " Mullin

 Despite being outplayed in every aspect of the game, all was not Gloom and Doom for SVCU. Potting a Hattie, flamboyant forward Kevin "Special K" Kopecky took a page from Brian "Spinna" Gilroy's play book. Mixing up his "High Light Reel " goals, the feisty forward was the only real  offensive threat that Outlaw net minder Butch " Heads Up on the Bench" Hodgson had to contend with. Mark "Mini" Munro and Rob "Blogmeister" McDonald rounded out the SVCU scoring.

Bud Light Game Star

Saturday, February 12, 2011

"Old Time Hockey" as SVCU win 8-6 over the Swan River Raiders...

Running a short bench, seven skaters to be exact, SVCU played a gritty, hard fought battle, which proved to be the difference in a 8-6 win over cross town rivals Swan River Raiders. A tight game that saw the score see-saw back and forth until mid way through the final period, when veteran official Jimmy " What did I Miss" Webster made a few questionable calls putting the Raiders on the PP.
Jimmy "The Zebra" Webster
Finesse Raider forward Chris "Catch me if you can" Hunt, wasted no time in putting the Raiders up by 2. With few warm bodies on the bench, stalwart CU blue liners Warren "Wheels' Gray and Craig "Zdeno" Zamzow  were forced to play up front. Down 6-4,  Gray showed why he is considered one of the league's premiere skater, puck handler , and shooter, by going end to end and freezing the  Raider goaltender not once , but twice short side . Zamzow, scoring his third of the evening, put CU ahead for the first time. Adding the insurance late in the game, Gray also finished the evening with three. Fighting a head cold, behemoth blue liner Blaine " Soup" Campbell logged an entire 60 minute shift, showing once again the strength and stamina of a 20 year old. ( his wife may think differently)

Bud Light Big Three

Super Bowl 2011 Commercial Favorites...

Monday, February 7, 2011

5-4 win over the Silver Seven continues the streak...

Jumping out to a quick 4-1 lead on goals by Mateika, Holtom, and Cable, SVCU hung on to record a 5-4 win over the Bowsman Silver Seven. Randy "Red Line " Mateika continued his scoring prowess with two, and recent call up from the Swan Valley Midget AA Stampeder's Ryan "Ripped" Cable scored in his SVCU season debut. Skating along side his son, Wade " Booster" Cable was held pointless in the match. "The boy has a playoff run coming up, no need for me to crush any kind of confidence he has, feed him, I have been doing that for 16years, one more night ain't going to hurt!"
Derek "Hands " Holtom continued his 3 game goal streak with a phenomenal tip in that had  heads turning on both benches.  Playing " Rope-a-Dope" for the better part of the game, the Silver Seven mounted a late game surge, that fell just short thanks to some timely puck stopping by SVCU standout goalkeeper Mike " Smitty "Smith. Forced to anchor a rather inexperienced blue line, Craig "Zdeno " Zamzow chipped in with a goal and added  two assists. Mark "Pinch" Munro and Jeff  "Jump into the Play" Knight, played solid "D" until the late stages of the game, where fatigue and  positional play  caught the better of them.

Bud Light 'Big Three!"..

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Mateika's "Top End" too much for Zamzow....

On a one game  loan contract to the Minitonas Loggers, Craig "Zdeno" Zamzow was given no preferential treatment for donning the opposition colors. After getting beat in a foot race with veteran forward Randy "Red Line" Mateika, Zamzow  knew he was in for a long evening. Despite being hacked, hooked, held and slashed at every opportunity, Zamzow somehow managed to register a hat trick on his fellow teammates, accounting for half of the Logger's offensive output, in a one sided 14-6 SVCU victory.

Wade "Jumper" Cable putting the wood on!
Not quite enough lumber the first time!!

"Special K" spreading the Love!
Coming off his impressive goal tending debut, Kevin "Special K" Kopecky proved he is more than" just a pretty face and a pair of pads."  Having scored 5 unanswered goals early, Kopecky played out the final 8 minutes of the game only to be denied of his first ever "Double Hat Trick"!  Equally ambitious left winger, Brian"Magic Man" Minish , skating along Kopecky's left side, also fell short of  turning the trick. An undisclosed source was quoted " It was just pathetic to watch those two practically hacking each other, all horny over who was going to score the next goal!"

Adding  two goals and 4 helpers, fleet footed defense man Warren "Wheels" Gray  was once again solid on the CU blue line.Also contributing offensively,  Blaine "Soup" Campbell and "Dancing"  Danton Ashcroft piped two goals apiece, rounding out an impressive outing by CU's defensive trio.

Bud Light Big Three!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Kevin "Vokoun" Kopecky Backstops SVCU to 14-3 debut...

Despite posting a most impressive 14-3 debut between the pipes, Kevin "Vokoun" Kopecky  will not be the starter for SVCU's next game. Relying on an unorthodox style that could only be described as a mix between a young Ernie "The Entertainer" Pierrepont and an aging Rick "Red Light" Reich, Kopecky managed to keep the young SVRSS Tiger line up scoreless until the last six minutes of the game. Forced to haul down  a streaking Tiger forward , Wade "Jumper" Cable put the rookie puck stopper on the hot seat. Unaccustomed to such pressure, and foregoing  the advice of resident "Blue Paint " specialist Mike "The Wall" Smith, Kopecky floundered on the deke, getting beat short side.

Kevin "Vokoun" Kopecky
Mike "Show Time" Smith , made the best of his one and only front end frolic. The quick handed goalie turned center- men, spent the entire game parked in front of the net, where he was spoon fed all evening. Recording a hat trick in the first period, Smith was overheard in the dressing between periods inquiring about what the team single game goal scoring record was. His career night of six goals , although impressive, still falls well short of the current record holder and former SVCU sniper " Marvelous" Marvin Clarkson.

Mike "Show Time" Smith
Breaking out of a current slump, Derek "Hands" Holtom scored two goals, his second an impressive "Knuckle Puck" off the iron, earning him a spot on the "Bud Light Big Three." Also busting a slump, Mark "Shoot!" Munro deftly put some "Finnish" on a beautiful tic-tac-toe.

Bud Light "Big Three!"
High light of the night belongs to Warren "Wheels" Gray, whose penalty shot dangle could easily be listed at number one...

"I stoned him on the shoot out! "