Wednesday, December 29, 2010

In Honour of the "Winter Classic" and other formalities...

This year the Winter Classic once again pits the undisputed "Two Best Players " in the world against each other. Did you ever wonder where the dream started with them, no different than the rest of us baby! Check out this flick, love it!

Watch more free documentaries

Oh, by the way, if you happen to see this guy contact your local RCMP detachment!!


...

Friday, December 24, 2010

SVCU down Swan River Action (Stampeder Black Aces) 8-5...

 A fast paced, end to end game, resulted in the veteran SVCU club securing an 8-5 win over a young exuberant Swan River Action/Roblin North Star/ Swan Valley Stampeder combined roster. With three time league All- Star and current wing eating champion Craig "Hot and Spicy" Zamow on vacation in Florida, SVCU management  was  forced to make some last minute call ups. On loan from his parent club (commonly known as a conditioning stint) Everett Silver tips rookie defense men and wonder boy prodigy Evan "Man Boy" Morden made his season debut. Also called up, from the Swan Valley Stampeder AA Midget roster , younger sibling Riley "Wrist Shot" Morden, filled in admirable as the teams prototypical "Power Forward."  The younger Morden possesesing the skill, skating agility, and grit of not to be mistaken current team , mucker and proud  father of  both  Pat " Crash" Morden, scored in his sophomore debut.
Skating beside veteran blue liner Blaine "Soup Dog" Campbell, the twin towers averaged out at 6'3 - 220 lbs. Warren "Wheels" Gray , the third D-man in the rotation, had another strong outing, providing SVCU with a quick transition game, and two timely goals.With Morden filling in on the back end, Kevin "Special K" Kopecky was penciled in down the middle. Heeding the advice from teammate and resident nutrition and fitness guru Mark " Make mine a double" Munro, the magic continued for Kopecky, as he went on to register his first official hat trick since 1988.
History was in the making , as all three of the Morden Men registered a goal. Not since Gordie skated with his sons Mark and Marty, has this feat been duplicated.




Merry Christmas to all, and see ya in the rink in 2011!
Blogmeister

8-6 win over the Mighty Bucks...

 Playing the "2 D-man system" to a T, SVCU skated to a 8-6 victory over the Mighty Bucks. The Bucks, debuting their new look "Third Jersey", kept the game close, until Brian "The Thrill" Gilroy salted the victory with his second of the evening. Still recovering from what some thought may have been a career ending upper body injury, the soft handed center man continued his assault on the league scoring race. Warren " The Wall" Clark on loan from cross town rivals Swan River Raiders, had an outstanding game between the pipes. A throw back to the "Stand up Goalie" era, Clark made several key saves while still maintaining the absolute driest pads in the league!
Forced to move to the back end, elder statesman Brian "Back Stop " Minish, showed the stamina and versatility of 22 year old rookie, playing the full 60 minutes. Playing partner and SVCU blue line specialist, Warren "Wheels" Gray, had perhaps one of his finest games of the year. Forced to not only back up his playing partner, Wheels was called upon to clear the defensive zone all evening. Contributing offensively through countless end to end rushes, Gray was a key factor in securing the win. Rounding out the scoring for SVCU were Mark " Manhandler" Munro, Jake "OT Kid" Gray, Randy "Red Line" Matieka, and Rob " Blogmeister" McDonald.

Warren "Wheels " Gray.

Brian "The Thrill" Gilroy!

SVCU go 3-1 in last 4 Games..

Following  8-2 and 16 -1 victories last week over the Swan River Raiders and the Swan Valley Regional  Tigers respectively, SVCU went 1-1 this week. The Valley Outlaws handed SVCU their second loss of the season . Despite some fantastic goal tending by Mike "Smitty" Smith, stone hands and piss poor shooting were all that the team could muster. One bright spot in a relatively impotent offense was the play of SVCU rookie Wade "Booster" Cable. Scoring for the second night in a row, Cable is showing that he is more than just a worthy candidate for the Selke trophy. The curse has finally ended for Kevin "Stone Hands no more" Kopecky. Scoring in the 8-2 win over the Raiders, an exuberant Kopecky was recently seen basking in his glory, surrounded by wings and refreshments. "Ahhh Good times when your scoring!!!!" Playing a full 60 minutes in the 14-2 pay back routing of the Flyer's from Kenville, the tireless sophomore kept the streak alive by potting his second goal of the season. Relying on the advice of teammate and Fitness Guru Mark "The Rock" Munro Kopecky has tweaked his dry land training  regime and nutritional plan. The proof as they say , is in the pudding!

"Protein is the Key"

"No Pain, No Gain!"



"How's this Mark?"

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Life in the "Beer League"... by D.Sloan

 Priceless, every "Beer League " player can relate to this, but it has Brian "Magic Man" Minish's life story written all over it !!

Former SVCU call up "Making an Eastern Swing....."

Evan "Man Boy" Morden



The SVCU Hockey Club's spirits were buoyed this week as they headed into their Wednesday night grudge match vs the Raiders.

The club was contacted by Everett Silvertips GM (and former Winnipeg Jets sieve) Doug Soetart earlier in the week to advise the Silvertips wanted to invite the club to next Wednesday's match up vs the Brandon Wheat Kings as their special guests.

After considerable deliberation, the SVCU oldtimers elected to pass on the offer as ticket sales to their Dec. 8 home date had already exceeded 2 (Marcel, Jeremy, and Matthew Munro) after hearing of his father (Mark Munro's) offensive outburst a week ago.

As displayed in the attached photo of SVCU alum Evan "Manboy" Morden, Soetaert was hoping SVCU patriarch Brian "Barnes" OldtimersMinish could teach the rest of the 'Tips dmen how to "walk the blueline" on the PP.

Morden suffered a slow start to the season (obviously missing the "what not to do" lessons regularly provided by SVCU dmen/lawyers Zamzow, Zamzow, & Campbell). However, he seems to be hitting his stride as Everett makes it's bi-annual trip to the Eastern outposts of the WHL.

Club spokesman Rob "Blogmeister" McDonald offered to host the Silvertips to a game on Thursday but Soetaert spoke to the fragility of the club's psyche and thought better of it.

If any of SVCU's legion of adoring fans would like to take in a 'Tips game call the SVCU transportation specialist Rick "Red Light Racicot" Reich for bus availability.

See you in the corners,

Dickie Dunn

Sunday, November 28, 2010

SVCU go 1-0-1 this week...Kopecky still searching...


Smitty

SVCU opened the week with a 7-7 draw against the Swan Valley Outlaws. Playing in the cold comfy confines of the Minitonas Arena, the team welcomed back with open arms, puck stopper Mike "Smitty" Smith. The part time Greens Keeper/Big Game Hunting Guide returned from a weeks hiatus and did not disappoint. Lulling the Outlaws by  playing a "Dump and Chase" game to perfection, combined with Mike  "Smitty" Smith's timely puck stopping, allowed Craig "Zdneo" Zamzow the opportunity to go end to end in the dying seconds of the game to salvage the tie. Redemption was bittersweet for the veteran defense man, as it was rumored he needed to be rocked to sleep by his 10 year old daughter after his previous outing.
Rookie Wade "Booster" Cable continues to impress management. The hard working, fore checking forward seems to have settled into his role as the team's defensive specialist. He continues to score timely goals, and has often been overheard offering tips and encouraging words to struggling team mate Kevin "Special K" Kopecky. Pat "Crash " Morden's youngest offspring Riley " Mini-Man Boy" Morden  a late call up from the Swan Valley AA Midget Stampeders, played a solid game on the blue line. The big "Shit -Eating Grin" younger brother of current Everett Silvertips rookie blue liner Evan "Man Boy" Morden , played a "stay at home" game plan to perfection. The unselfish rookie AP stepped aside allowing veteran playing partner Craig "Zdeno" Zamzow to make countless end to end rushes all evening.

Craig "Zdeno" Zamzow


The second of back to back games had SVCU recording a 9-6 victory over SRFC on Wednesday evening.  Brian " The Thrill" Gilroy put on yet another offensive display recording four goals and two assists. Despite being slough footed and laying motionless on the ice for more than 15 minutes, Gilroy miraculously recovered, stayed on the ice for the teams ensuing 5-3 power play, and sniped his third of the evening. The Flamboyant forward was quoted as claiming his offensive output would double if he shed 30 lbs on a conditioning stint with Roblin North Stars of the North Central Hockey League.
The drought is over for feisty forward Mark "Scoreless No More" Munro who found the back of the net twice on a record breaking 35 plus shots on net evening. "I'm just happy to shed that f*cking gorilla off may back, I can only imagine what must be going through Kevin "Special K" Kopecky's mind!"  The snake-bitten Kopecky, who league statisticians are having a hard time retrieving the exact date of his last recorded goal, made several desperation end to end rushes, only to be stoned by SRFC net minder Ernie "The Glove" Pierrpont. The dejected sophomore quietly left the arena knowing that he is now the only active rostered player left to score for the famed SVCU.


Brian "The Thrill" Gilroy

Mark "Scoreless No More" Munro



Saturday, November 20, 2010

SVCU Suffer First Loss of Season...

Leading 8-4 after one, SVCU had a huge collapse in the second, ending up on the short end of a 10-9 O.T. loss. Despite an incredible offensive display by the recently re-united "M-G-M" line, (McDonald-Gray-Morden), including a late game laser by Jeremy "O.T. Kid" Gray to force overtime, the cocky young guns aka Kenville Flyers , sealed the deal in extra time.
SVCU free flowing, offensively charged back end was held off the score sheet for the first time this year. Kevin "Special K" Kopecky, the highly touted soft handed sophomore, continues to struggle offensively. Recording a record 25 shots on net, the disgruntled D-man is still searching for his first goal of the season. Playing partner Craig "Zdeno" Zamzow had what could only be characterized as a "Perplexing Performance". Countless give aways, poor decision making, and lack luster effort, have management scratching their heads. "Zamzow needs to bring that veteran presence and savvy  back into his game, and in a hurry,  in order to justify his ice time minutes!"




Craig "Zdeno" Zamzow


















On loan from the Swan River Raiders, former SVCU player turned puck stopper Warren " Stack em" Clark filled in admirably. Coming off a huge win the previous night (4-3 Raider win over Valley Outlaws), it was apparent the "deep in the crease" Clark was tired and off his game.

Jeremy "O.T. Kid" Gray



















Jeremy "OT Kid" Gray's 5 goal performance has put the gifted goal scorer back into the league scoring race. Not to be overlooked, offensively challenged diminutive forward Rob "Blogmeister" McDonald once again surprised opponents and teammates alike , with a 5 point night! (2goals 3 assists)
Scoring woes continue for healthy scratch Mark "Squeeze" Munro and Kevin "Special K" Kopecky , the two remaining active roster players to record their first goals of the season. Rumor has it that Brian "The Thrill" Gilroy has started a pool, squares are available from any active or former SVCU player!

R.I.P. Mr. Pat Burns.....

Sunday, November 14, 2010

SVCU win big, Matieka scores 6....

Randy "Meat Head" Matieka
SVCU recorded their sixth straight victory of the season with a striking 19-6 win over the Minitonas Loggers. Randy "MeatHead" Matieka continued his scoring prowess with an impressive 6 goal performance. Skating in the  rink where it all began, Minitonas prodigal son did not disappoint.
Coming off what could be deemed his most disconcerting game in decades, Brian "The Thrill" Gilroy regained his magic and posted his third multiple goal game of the season .Playing with an undisclosed injury at the hands of a vicious two hander, it is reported that the crafty center men survived 48 hours in the hospital , under the watchful eye of an Egyptian physician, and still managed to make the road trip to Minitonas. Also coming up big on the score sheet were Warren "Wheels" Gray , Blaine "Soup" Campbell and Brian "Magic Man " Minish with three each. Craig "Zdeno" Zamzow also tallied for a single.

Horrendous undisclosed upper body injury!

Sophomore Derek "DH" Holtom notched his first of the season, virtually keeping his name off the bottom of the depth chart. The scoring drought continues for rookie Mark " Manhandler" Munro, as it appears he has a horrible case of " Grip the stick to tightis!" Failing to produce up front,  Knight, Munro, and Holtom were relegated to the back end for the second period, where DH almost sustained a career ending back injury , tripping over his own blue line.

Mark "Squeeze" Munro!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

6 - 3 . SVCU Tarnish the Silver Seven...

Matieka in his office !

The SVCU extended their winning to Five, lead by a three goal performance by Randy "make mine a Hattie" Matieka. Skating for the first time this season, the grizzled veteran scored on his first two shots on net, and was all but assured of turning the trick. Finding  himself snake bitten until the late stages of the game despite having more shots on goal than the entire "Silver Seven " roster, Matieka finally found the back of the net with an over powering wrist shot that caught the Silver Seven net minder short side.
Former SVCU winger, turned goaltender extraordinaire, Warren "Close the door" Clark, on loan from his parent club the Swan River Raiders, single handedly ended Brian "The Thrill" Gilroy's scoring streak. The frustrated forward was thwarted all night. Shot after shot, break away after break away, the gifted Gilroy was denied by his former teammate. A somewhat subdued and disappointed Gilroy, quietly left the dressing room before he could be reached for comment.

Brian "The Thrill " Gilroy
Craig "Zdneo" Zamzow, stepping up front, added a single, and some much needed physical presence, even if he was having trouble discerning between burgundy and white. Woes continue for rookie Mark "Man handler" Munro, registering a record 10 shots on goal,  finished the game with a 0.00 scoring percentage.
Jeremy "OT Kid" Gray,the tireless back checker, rounded out the scoring for SVCU.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

S.V.C.U. Pillage Raiders 7-4...

Chris "Lanks" Zamzow.
Pat "Crusher" Morden made the very best of his season debut. Showing that there is more to his game than the "Punishing  Power Forward" moniker, Morden bulged the twine twice, and was an offensive threat all evening. Falling just short of his first "Hat Trick" in numerous seasons, it is apparent that Morden's commitment to off-season running and dry-land training should provide huge dividends this season. Leading by example, the veteran forward wanted to start the season on the right foot, despite his oldest boy's  escapades with the Everett Silvertips.
Also making his season debut, Chris "Lanks" Zamzow provided some huge minutes on the back end. Resorting back to the 3 man system, "Lanks" 6 plus minute shifts, although falling just short of sophomore standout "Dancing" Danton Ashcroft's 8 minute shifts, provided some much needed rest for veteran rearguard Craig "Zdeno" Zamzow. This proved beneficial, as the elder Zamzow continued to keep his scoring streak alive. Adding the perfect mix to the "Zamzow "defensive cocktail, one time feisty forward Kevin "Special K" Kopecky provided stability and poise on the blue line, allowing the run and gun game of the brothers Zamzow to shine.
Silky smooth center men  Brian "The Thrill" Gilroy, playing in his third consecutive game of the season, continues to impress . Scoring one , setting up three, it looks like he may  be making a run for the league scoring title this year.
There appears to be some movement on the SVCU player depth chart. With both Brian "Magic Man" Minish and Rob "Blogmeister" McDonald continuing their somewhat surprising scoring streaks, and rookie Wade "Booster" Cable scoring his first, the battle for bottom dominance looks to be shared by Derek "D.H." Holtom and Mark " Man Handler" Munro. When asked about this current situation, Director of Player Personnel and former SVCU PIM leader Dave "Did I cut Ya" Bettesworth had some words of warning.  " Our current roster situation is always under very close scrutiny, under no circumstances should a player consider himself untouchable or irreplaceable ! "
Concerned Director of Player Personnel Dave "Dr.Death" Bettesworth.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

S.V.C.U. 6-1 win over Swan River Action...

Brian "The Thrill " Gilroy
After finishing last week with a 12-5 felling of the Logger's from Minitonas, SVCU opened the week with a convincing 6-1 win over Swan River Action. Brian "The Thrill" Gilroy, playing in his second straight game , lead all scorers with 3, and not to be outdone, Blaine "Soup" Campbell added a Hattie of his own. Despite having  trouble clearing the puck out of his own end, Campbell made amends with perennial all star puck stopper Mike "Smitty " Smith , by picking it up in the late stages of the game. Jeremy "OT Kid" Gray , continued his scoring prowess  notching 2, while singles went to Warren "Wheels" Gray , Rob "Blogmeister " McDonald, Derek "Hands" Holtom, and fleet footed veteran Brian "Magic Man" Minish.

The once reliable "Back End" again struggled early against a hard pressing Action squad. Craig "Zdeno" Zamzow , known for his timely tape to tape crisp passes, seemed to be experiencing a bad case of color blindness! After leaving Smitty hanging out to dry for what seemed like the 8th time in a row, the over zealous reargaurd finally found his stride in the second period. Taking a page out of the "Sorry seems to be the hardest word" book penned by Blaine "Soup" Campbell, Zamzow responded by posting his first multiple goal game of the year. Blowing the game wide open in the second, Jeremy "OT Kid " Gray notched the natural Hat trick. Scoring on the "Most exciting play in hockey", Rob "Blogmeister" McDonald on the penalty shot, deftly deked stunned Action goaltender Jeremy "Giant" Hohn, to round out the scoring.

"Say it ain't so", were the words heard around the Valley today as it was announced that cagey veteran Dennis "The Surgeon" Bowles has decided to call it a career. Rest assured the" Master of the Stick", will be missed by those who had the privilege of skating beside him.

Happier Times.. circa 2007

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

S.V.C.U. Open Season with a 9-5 Road Win !!

Director of Player Personnel and former team PIM leader Dave "Dr. Death" Bettesworth did not spend this past off season wasting away on the links. After what could only be called a "Humiliating and Humbling Defeat" at the hands of the Valley Outlaws in last year's A final, Bettesworth , along with the entire organization knew  that change was imminent.
After a very successful rookie season, gifted country crooner and part time hockey player  Ryan" Cowboy" Keown left the organization, to pursue both his singing and hockey careers in Roblin Manitoba.
Unable to be reached for comment, it appears Dennis "The Surgeon" Bowles may be making his retirement official this year. Talk around the league has opposing players breathing a sigh of relieve, knowing they will no longer have to don the "full face shield", when suiting up against the Red Machine!
It's official , Danton "Iron Lung" Ashcroft  the youngest player in SVCU history has signed on with the organization.Other off season acquisitions include speedy forward Wade "Booster" Cable and half wall specialist Mark "Lefty" Munro.
After a rather "slim " turnout for training camp 2010, SVCU opened the season with a convincing 9-5 win over the SRFC.  Brian "Game Breaker" Gilroy got the party started early for SVCU,capping off his second goal of the evening with a beautiful  back door tally. Also hitting the score sheet  twice were Craig "Zdeno" Zamzow, Jeff "Knifty" Knight, and Jeremy "OT Kid" Gray. Warren "Wheels" Gray rounded out the scoring. After a bit of a shaky start, SVCU puck stopper Mike "Smitty" Smith returned to mid season form, closing the door on any mounting comeback attempt by SRFC.
The jury is still out on the play of the new rookie acquisitions, however being one of the first  to pay their " Team Dues" will know doubt go a long way in securing ample "Ice Time" in managements eyes!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

S.V.C.U. 2009-2010

Super Sunday...


Game one on "Super Sunday" had S.R.F.C. tangle with the Burners from Bowsman. In a see-saw battle, S.R.F.C. prevailed with a 7-5 victory. Game 2 had the "Big Island Bears" do battle with the "Old Ducker's" from Gladstone. The Bear's proved to be to much for the short benched Duckers, and skated to a 8-5 win. In the "C" final, Swan River Raider's came up short, losing 7-5 to the Birtle Old Pucker's. Brad Zimmer had a Hattie in the win, while Sean Eggie netted two for the Raiders. The "B" final had the Winnipegosis Hawks out gunning Valley Incorporated 11-2. Duane Clarkson lead all Hawk scorers with 5, while Jeff Weist sniped the natural hat trick in the losing cause. The "A" final pitted the host SVCU Old timers against cross town rivals Swan Valley Outlaws. With the Outlaws power play clicking on all cylinders, the host team found themselves down 5-0 going into the final period. Any sign of a comeback was quickly put to bed by the outstanding goal tending display put on by Battling "Butch" Hodgson. Ricky the "Rifle" Betcher, lead all scorers with 2, while veteran blue liner, Gene "Viper" Vestby added a single, 2 helpers, and a pulled groin. Wade "Dukem" Davy, showing the poise and self discipline of a "Lady Byng" candidate, went all four games without a single penalty minute! Although the mood was a bit subdued in the SVCU dressing room , a round of post game refreshments quickly turned into talk of " We'll have another run at them Outlaws next year Boys!" Thus comes to close another exciting "Old Time" hockey season. See you all on the links !!!!
Wade "Dukem" Davy Penalty leader 2007 SVCU Tourney.



Dressing Room Shots...

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Big Beef Banquet....




SVCU's netminder continues the streak...

It was another goal tending clinic put on by SVCU net minder Mike "Smitty" Smith. After running the table for two full games, Smitty was game to make it three S.O. in row. Dancing D-man , Warren "Wheels" Gray controlled the game from the opening puck drop, flashy end to end rushes, sweeping poke checks, and laser precision wrist shots. His three point performance earned him the "Working Man's" hat , as SVCU went on to a 4-0 win over the Birtle Old Puckers. The win all but secured a spot in the "A" final on Sunday.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

SVCU tame the "Big Island Bears" 3 - 0...

SVCU cage keeper Mike "Smitty" Smith continued to dazzle , recording his second straight shut out in as many nights. The "Blue Paint " specialist was spectacular, thrwarting Bear shooters with his lightning quick reflexes and "Fish Net" like glove hand. Needing to score early (new tie breaker format), Neil "Chooker" Kikchuk, cashed in on his own rebound  less than 2 minutes into the match. With the pressure off, SVCU took control of the game, and never looked back. Snake bitten third line combination of McDonald, Knight, Gray, aka the infamous M-K-G line, had numerous opportunities, with Knight finally breaking the curse on a picture perfect pass from Jeremy "O.T. Kid" Gray. Half board specialist, Chris "Lanks" Zamzow, put the game away late with an open net gift. SVCU finish the round robin with a tilt against the "Old Puckers" from Birtle.

"Cherry Picking " extradionare Randy "Red Line" Matekia, held scoreless in tonight's match was called out on what could be considered questionable "defensive play". Free wheeling defender Warren "Wheels"  Gray could only stretch so many passes , before the Big Island netminder finally figured out to leave the blue paint and cut Matekia off.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

SVCU open Tourney with a big Win...














SVCU skated to a 7 - 0 victory over  Bowsman to officially open the 35 annual Old Timer's Tournament. At the 13 minute mark of the first period,  Craig "Zdeno" Zamzow jumped up into the play and wired a wrist shot passed a sprawling Burner goaltender. Less than a minute later the Dangling D-man netted his second of the evening, and SVCU never looked back. Brian "Magic Man" Minish had a very productive evening, scoring once , and adding a couple of helpers. Mike "Smitty" Smith had a sensational start to his weekend. Although not tested often, the perennial All Star Puck stopper was called upon in the dying minutes to come up big to preserve the shut out and be awarded co- winner  player of the game.
SVCU will clash with the Flin Flon "Big Island Bears" Friday evening.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

SVCU Tourney Review 2010

Check out the in-depth analysis of this year's Tournament line up. Thanks to Craig "Zdeno" Zamzow for this enlightening report ! Click on " full screen" to see the full article.

SVCU Tourney Newsletter 2010                                                            

It's Tourney Time....

SVCU management have issued this nation wide warrant to all law enforcement agencies. What started out as a "Get Away with the wife", may be in fact be a ploy to force the hand of negotiations with the organization. Keown, coming off a sensational rookie season, has been quietly testing the waters in another league. As an unrestricted free agent at the end of this season, Keown, acting on the advice of his agent, may choose to go M.I.A. this weekend. Director of player personnel, and former SVCU penalty minute leader, Dave "The Butcher" Bettesworth had this to say, " You can tell the F**ken Country Crooning S.O.B., that if he is a no show this weekend, he will be lucky to find a job tethering horses at the Dawson Bay Hotel !" Keown, his wife, and agent were unavailable for comment.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Craig "Zdeno" Zamzow has some "Young Blood" in him...



Unconfirmed sources have Craig "Zdeno" Zamzow holding private video sessions just days before championship weekend. The rushing rearguard has been struggling of late , and it has been rumored that he is looking to add a new move to his shoot out repertoire.Flashy forward Randy "Rob" Matekia, who possesses an uncanny skating ability similar to Lowe, was seen leaving the Zamzow residence late Monday evening. Unable to substantiate these claims, both Zamzow and his wife have been unavailable for comment. However, both local video rental outlets have had the DVD Young Blood rented out to a one Zarley Zalapski.Coincidence ? only time will tell.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

SVCU finish regular season with a 12-3 polishing of the Bowsman Silver Seven!


A final tune up before heading into Championship week, SVCU skated to a 12-3 victory over the  Bowsman Silver Seven . The game was a chance for the team to work on the little things: back checking, fore checking, and of course scoring. Leading all scorers with five was Ryan "Cowboy" Keown. The country crooning Keown was on fire, lighting it up ever imaginable way. Line mate Jeff  "Nifty "  Knight was also in awe of this recent display. "I know I fell a little short of the all time game scoring record, but I feel things are starting to gel. I credit my recent scoring spree on the confidence and game time  I received playing in the Camel Toe Classic." Keown's wife , bruising right winger Zoe Koewn,  was unavailable for comment, but it has been rumored that she is spending the next 6 days R +R in Vegas, after being felled by an errant wrist shot !
Craig "Zdeno" Zamzow  kept his scoring streak alive , bulging the twine twice. Also contributing offensively were Jeremy "Jake" Gray , and Kevin "Special K" Kopecky with two apiece. SVCU stand out puck stopper Mike " Smitty " Smith  has his game looking  razor sharp heading into championship week. The cool cage keeper has been steady all year, and could very well be the decisive factor in bringing another championship back home.
Game photos by D. Holtom Sport Photography.(2010)

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Hard fought Draw puts two on Injury Reserve list.....



The final meeting in the regular season between crosstown rivals SVCU and the Swan River Raiders had all the makings for a great one, and it didn't disappoint. A fast paced, end to end opening period saw SVCU fall behind 3-0. Always one to lead by example Craig "Zdeno" Zamzow opened the scoring for SVCU early in the second with one of his  patent " end to end "rushes. Zamzow scored his second of the evening with a rocket wrist shot that handcuffed Raider net minder Warren Clark. Jeff "Nifty" Knight knotted the game at three with some dipsy doodling that even  SVCU Dangling D-man  Blaine " Corporal" Campbell couldn't help but smile at. The teams traded goals  down the stretch and the game ended tied at 5.
This hard fought battle took it's toll on the SVCU front end. Just minutes before the end of the first period, Jeremy " OT Kid" Gray , the great two way player, took a hard wrist shot off the ankle and was sent to the dressing room heavily favoring his right foot. His night and possible season coming to an abrupt end. In the second period, battling hard on the wall, Derek "Holiday" Holtom took an errant skate to the face , narrowly missing his left eye. Lying in a pool of his own blood, a cold silence fell over the SVCU bench. A concerned teammate quickly relayed a message to the bench " It missed his eye, but Holts has know idea of who or where he is."  Quick to offer an encouraging word to a teammate, Blaine "Corporal" Campbell was overheard ,"Tell him he's Gretzky and get the f**k up." A quick trip to the hospital, three stitches, and some ice/Tylenol had Holiday back in the dressing room in time for a post game pop. He was later quoted as saying " My wife is going to kill me !" Many of his teammates view this injury as an actual improvement in Holtom's looks as was evident by the discussion carried on post game . When asked about this Holtom responded ," LOL, and here I thought my good looks were carrying me through life. My wife has been lying to me all these years.. oh by the way, she has suggested I look into a full visor, does anyone have one kicking around to tide me over until the end of the year? SVCU veteran power forward " Pat "Pumper " Morden, always there for the rookies, suggested a  mask he found on e-bay .


"Found this on e-bay for you, should do the trick and make the opposition think twice about taking any liberties."






Monday, March 1, 2010

Greatest Goal in Canadian Hockey History ?

So you think you know what the "Greatest Goal in Canadian Hockey History" is? Take the poll in the left hand column. But we don't want you to stop there, grow some balls, and leave a comment explaining "Why" this is the greatest goal ever! Sorry Ryan "Camel Toe" Keowan's goal for the Bowsman Babes is ineligible for obvious reasons. So, let's see what we are thinking gentlemen !









Tuesday, February 23, 2010

SVCU - Raider's Skate to a 3-3 Draw....

With a second wave of "Raider Flu" running rampant through the SVCU ranks, seven committed skaters and a goaltender took on a full force Raider Nation.
Keeping the game close once again, SVCU "Golden" goaltender Mike "Smitty" Smith was forced to make many highlight reel saves early. Capitalizing on limited scoring chances,SVCU sniper Warren "Wheels" Gray made no mistake in letting Raider net minder Warren Clark feel the heat of his wrist shot. Depositing two lasers high glove side, Gray completed the natural hat trick, burning Clark for a third time glove side. Derek "Fold'em" Holtom had a glorious opportunity to put SVCU ahead, but missed a wide open net by mere feet. Unconfirmed injury reports had Holtom breaking his finger on a penalty kill early in the first period.
SVCU goaltender Mike "Smitty" Smith's  name was all over the rumor mill earlier today. Anonymous reports had the cagey tender flying out to Vancouver for a possible start with Team Canada. Unable to substantiate any of these reports, Smith was finally made available for comment earlier this afternoon. " Team Canada said I could have only 1 beer after the game, no chips, and that Pronger was playing no matter what so I told them I was playing for Germany instead."

Next action for SVCU is a Thursday night road trip down 83 for "Wing and Beer fest #3". Late report has the return of Craig " NO Wings No Glory" Zamzow suiting up fresh off an Olympic Hiatus.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

6-5 SVCU gunned down by Outlaws,,,

With both teams feeling the affects of "Corporate Challenging" the previous weekend, this "Wednesday Night Whoop Up" was lack Lustre at best. Teams traded goals early, with Barry "Shooter" Eggie opening the scoring with a beautiful re-direct. The Valley Outlaws increased their lead to three , before SVCU rushing D-man Warren "Wheels" Gray broke in on the right side and wired a wrist shot top shelf. Scoring his second on the evening, Gray closed the gap to two with another twine bulging snipe. Randy "One Zone" Matekia red lighted with two minutes remaining making it a one goal game. Pressing for the equalizer in the dying moments, SVCU gifted goal scorer Brian "Go To" Gilroy was robbed by Outlaw goaltender Derek Poole.
Looking to jump start the team, Elder Statesmen Barry "Shooter" Eggie delivered an open ice hit that quickly added an "Edge" to the second period. Inspired by a teammate old enough to be his father, bruising blue liner Blaine "Crusher" Campbell picked up the physical play and layed some major lumber on opposing fore checking forwards. Held off the score sheet the famed M-G-M line of McDonald, Gray, and Morden had numerous chances but could find no Finnish. Filling in on the blue line for the first time, rookie Ryan "Cowboy" Keowan had a solid game. Despite a shaky start, SVCU Masked Man , Michael "Smitty" Smith was outstanding, keeping CU in the game. Sunday night has SVCU facing cross town rivals Swan River Raiders for the fifth time this season.

Shooter's hit ranks # 6

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Craig " Bud Light" Zamzow and his "Kin" friends plan the party...



Gathering of Kinsmen Clan always starts with a call from Craig "Bud Light" Zamzow. Feel free to put a name to each one of the staunch members.

James "Zebra" Webster...



Unconfirmed reports have current referee in chief of  the Swan Valley Old Timer's Hockey League (SVOHL) Jimmy "The Zebra" Webster  leaving Swan Valley Vision Center late last Thursday evening. Although unable to substantiate these sightings,  events in the the past few weeks all seem reason enough to find truth in this story. Recent questionable "Off side " calls have GM's around the league shaking their heads in dismay. When asked to comment on these latest allegations Webster was quick to respond " If your talking about McDonald who skates with  SVCU, perhaps you should be asking him if he has considered leg extensions, or maybe coming back into his defensive zone once in a friggin while!"

SVCU "Shit the Bed " with 8 mins to Go....



Not since the famed Kings-Oilers 1982 comeback dubbed "The Miracle on Manchester" has a team shown a total disregard for a more than worthy adversary.
A melt down of epic proportions led to a demoralizing 6-5 loss at the hands of the Bowsman Silver Seven. Leading 5-2 with less than 8 minutes remaining, SVCU pulled off a finish that would even have left Leaf fans shaking their heads. A fast paced , tight checking game, had the score tied at 2 after the first period. SVCU took the the lead early in the second on a sweet Deke, by Jeff "Nifty " Knight, and seconds later went ahead by 2 on Knight's second of the evening. SVCU back stopper, Mike "Smitty" Smith made what at the time should have been the TSN Turning Point of the game. Silver Seven Flashy Forward Leon Mykula broke in all alone only to be robbed by Smith's lightning-quick right hand. On the ensuing odd man rush, Rob "Close your eyes and Shoot" McDonald threaded the needle with a seeing eye dog that froze Silver Seven Net minder Derek Poole. Sitting back on a three goal lead was not part of the game plan. Silver Seven answered with 2 quick goals, and sensing a sinking ship, attacked the SVCU goal relentlessly. Despite a more than heroic effort on the part of Smith, when the smoke had cleared, SVCU found themselves reeling on the hind end of a 6-5 loss. Rounding out the scoring for SVCU , Pat "Pumper" Morden and Jeremy "Go Daddy " Gray with singles.
SVCU bulking blue liner Craig "Wings " Zamzow will be absent from line up for the next 2 weeks as he is going on an "Olympic Break" Hiatus. Director of player personnel and former SVCU all star and league penalty minute leader David "Dr. Hook" Bettesworth voiced his concern over the D man's decision. " Craig has logged a lot of ice time in the past month and was working his way down to being only 75 lbs. from his ideal playing weight. We have been in contact with Canada Place Athlete Training Facility and have secured him some time with Olympic Men's Hockey Fitness Guru Steve Van Shubert. The bottom line is that he has to take some responsibility and show some discipline and commitment so he can be ready for the cup run. By no means is he to come within 50 meters of the famed "Vancouver West Side Wing Shack." Neither Zamzow or his agent could not be reached for comment.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Man's Last Stand ...

Love the Super Bowl Commercials....

Action take it hard on the Chin ...

Revenge was sweet for SVCU Monday night as they avenged the recent debacle where Action took them out behind the woodshed.

SVCU, ravaged by a severe case of the Action flu, managed only 5 regular skaters and Danton Ashcroft as an AP.

Despite facing the young legs of former Stamps Ryan Bettesworth and Wayne Bass, SVCU's slick puck movement (reminiscent of the Central Red Army KLM Line) led the short-staffed club to a 21-7 victory Monday night.

As always Smitty was a rock between the pipes as he foiled both Bass and Bettesworth on penalty shots, not to mention stoning Wally on several glorious opportunities.

Leading the way offensively was the club patriarch Barnes "Blast" Minish and Pat "PIM" Morden with 5 goals apiece.

"Dangerous" Derek Holtom lit the lamps for 3 and threw in a hatty celebration Tiger Williams would have been proud of.

Jeremy "stick handle in a phone booth" Gray added 3 goals and a franchise record 14 assists.

On the back end Danton "Cole" Ashcroft (in his 2nd AP stint of the season) was an absolute rock on the blue line, covering for his wandering d partner all night, while finding time to chip in 2 goals.

Craig "Benedict Arnold" Zamzow was traded back from Action for one stubby Club during the pre-game skate and managed to chip in 2 goals while only being on for 7 against. The tidy +14 will improve his season +/- to respectable double digits (-96).

The club suffered from a vast array of excuses on the night, Shooter in Mexico, Wheels in Texas, Cowboy in Edmonton, Soup at Karch Kiraly Camp, Gil finishing a 3-course meal of black-eyed peas and cracked ribs, Blogmeister AWOL, and Meathead seeding his Winter Wheat.

SVCU hits the ice Wednesday night vs Silver Seven, and hope to have a much better turnout.

Tourney coordinator updated the club and advised we are presently at 11 teams for the Easter Weekend tourney.

Waiting on feedback from a couple Federal League teams as well as the Barrows Golden Arrows to see who will the fill the 12th and final spot in the 35th Annual Event.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Loggers feel the Offensive Wrath...Mateika Close to Record...

Not since his glory days with the Minitonas Eagles  has Randy "The Eagle has landed" Mateika posted numbers like this. Leaving all skating and corner work to his line mates  A.P. call up Karter "P.P." Priesten and stand out rookie Ryan "Cowboy" Keowan, Mateika was found parked on the opposition blue line all night. Even a questionable penalty shot call in Mateika's favor, could not help the proverbial "garbage collector" break the record. Chasing Mateika in this offensive onslaught , Kevin "Special K" Kopecky fell short by one, bulging the twine seven times. Also contributing to the Minitonas Massacre , Karter " P.P." Priesten and Rob "set the plate" McDonald with 4, Brian " missed that one" Minish, Ryan "Cowboy" Keowan , and Dancing Danton Ashcroft with 3 apiece. Rounding out the scoring A,P. call up Riley "Gunnar" Morden with 2. The News of  "No Wings or Pizza" for a post game meal, despite many calls that fell on deaf ears, seemed to throw Craig "Wings" Zamzow and Pat "Pumper" Morden off their game and the score sheet. Redemption can come on Monday night when SVCU and Action have a return match.
Training Video for Randy " Break Away" Mateika...

S.V.C.U. run the "Rapids"... 8-6.

A fast paced, end to end game saw the return of two veterans and a hired gun as SVCU downed Pelican Rapids 8- 6. Fresh off a 12 day "Sun and Sand" retreat, Blaine " Fabutan" Campbell was welcomed back on the blue line with open arms.The big Blue liner may have had trouble finding his legs, but not his penchant for smack talking fellow teammates. Donning the pads for the first time two weeks ,SVCU all star puck stopper Mike "Smitty" Smith wasted no time in testing out the vulnerable lower body injury. Taking two questionable rockets off the wire in stride, Smitty once again showed why he is without a doubt one of the leagues premiere net minders. The famed "M-G-M " line reunited once again accounted for 4 of the 8 goals. Unconfirmed sources have stated that this may have been Brian "Glitzy" Gilroy's last game in a SVCU jersey. The gifted goal scorer finished the game with 3 goals and 2 assists. "I need to spend more quality time with my wife", Gilroy was quoted after seen exiting the Star Cinema Friday evening. The other half of the famed" Biggest Loser Tandem",  Derek "Holly Wood" Holtom was also seen escorting his wife out of the cinema.  Both players missed Friday's game in Minitonas and may be facing possible fines and suspensions. Team General manager and Director of player personnel Dave "Dr.Hook" Bettesworth was unavailable for comment.                                                                                                                                                                       

Saturday, January 30, 2010

SVCU pull out a 12-4 win over the SVRSS Tigers.

SVCU made the trip to the Minitonas  with 9 skaters and a goalie (consisting of 3 pickups from the local Bantam team) Randy "Red Line" Mateika led the club in both breakaways (6) and goals (5).  His performance had the crowd yearning for a return to the years of the  famed Minitonas Eagles "Doubles Line".  Local barkeep Leonard Nakonechny would never leak if the name came from their post-game drinking habits or their jersey numbers - Calvin Knispel (66), Garry Mohr (55), and Randy Mateika (44).
SVCU Rookie Ryan "Cowboy" Keown was flying and picked up his third hat trick of the season, despite having his feet kicked out on several occasions.  Post-game , the veteran SVCU defense corp was found harassing Keown on his lack of face offs won back from the center ice dot.  The consummate professional ,Keown brushed them off and remained focused on commenting that his back felt better after a weekend of busting broncos, than after a match up with the physical SVRSS defense. 
2030 tourney signee Carter (quick as snot) Prieston pocketed five snipes in his SVCU debut. His dangles were reminiscent of a young Brian "Barnes" Minish during the late 80's.
Riley "Big Rig" Morden played a "Strakerish" defense as positional play doesn't appear to be his forte.(runs deep in the family)  That big feces-eating smile will not soon be forgotten though.  As expected there were two minors on the evening both going to the Morden family.  Pat "Pumper" Morden implemented the famed "SVCU Can opener"  to perfection, while Riley "Big Rig" Morden discarded a Tiger, head first into the end boards,  after getting caught pinching for what seemed to be the tenth time..
Manning the net was Drew "Dominator" Denischuk.  Although the shots were limited, Denischuk displayed flypaper characteristics with his outstanding rebound control.
Rounding out the goal scorers were Barry "Snapper" Eggie who dented the twine twice with his famed scccchhhhhnapper.
Warren "Wheels" Gray, Jeremy "OT Kid" Gray, and Craig "Freshly Skate sharpened and glad to be accepted back with open arms" Zamzow posted an aggregate plus 12 on the night, even with the occasional " pine riding " from the coaching staff.
Next action is Wednesday night, it will be a treat as the club gets to view a Stampeder- Blizzard match up followed by the first ever meeting between SVCU and Pelican Rapids.  Game time is 10:15PM.
Craig "Bob McKenzie" Zamzow...
Just one more for the Senator Fans...

Action put it to SVCU...12-4

The ever revolving roster of Swan River Action masterminded the right combination of youth , speed, and experience , to hand a demoralizing loss to SVCU. Facing his former team for the second time this season, Derek "Hot Rod" Holtom was speechless after the game. Off the record Holtom was quoted " At least that Fucking Wally didn't roll the hat on us!" Failing to "Finnish" on countless scoring opportunities, combined with the front end showing a total disregard for defense, SVCU found themselves playing catch up all night long. Compounding matters, once highly regarded SVCU defense man Craig "Traitor" Zamzow, jumped ship, and quietly racked up a hat trick. Murmurs on the bench and dressing room were believed to be  not flattering for the "Bulking" blue liner. Randy " Moves" Matekia again proved that he is more than just a " Stinky F#cking Hockey Bag" as he scored the one and only SVCU high light reel goal. Redemption cannot come soon enough, as SVCU has a Thursday night tangle with the SVRSS Tigers.
BEHIND CLOSE DOORS WITH SVCU GM. DAVE BETTESWORTH AFTER ACTION LOSS...(This is what he dreamt, names have been changed to protect the identity of those accused)

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Ramsay Downholers...

This could possibly be the funniest set of videos that I have seen in a very long time. Set up as a reality based series, it takes you inside a "Beer League" team. It is so well done that rumor has they are currently in post production with a series with Rogers Network picking it up. I will post a link to their website under our favorite links side bar. Check it out fellows, it is f*#cking Hilarious...
www.downholers.com


Friday, January 22, 2010

14-3 SVCU put Loggers through the "Chipper"...

SVCU was not going to let the news that their stellar Goaltender and post game hydration coordinator Mike "Smitty" Smith could be on the injury reserved list for up to two weeks,set them back.They picked apart the Minitonas defense with the precision and patience of a Hooker at an Agribition. .... Back in the saddle , Ryan "Cowboy" Keowan had a career night, scoring four and assisting on three others. Fellow rookie and line mate Kevin "Special K" Kopecky , not about to be relegated to the fourth line, added  a hat trick. An unbelievable 16 shots on goal by the charismatic czech , 13 finding the soft fleshy mid section of the goaltender, had trainers scrambling to find the right "wood " for the flashy forward. Recent call up Mark "Money in the Bank" Monro earned  a second look based on a strong performance on the previous nights' match. Realizing that this may be his last chance to impress management,  the stout power forward garbage collected two while making himself home in front of the net. Playing in his fifth game in seven nights, SVCU defense men Craig "Chocolate Chip" Zamzow had very little left in the tank. Replenishing  on Gatorade and chocolate chip cookies had little affect as the battling blue liner struggled to find his legs. Free agent puck stopper Jeff "Captain" Blythe made a successful debut. Although not called upon often, the big net minder was forced to bail out his back end on numerous occasions. Rounding out the scoring for SVCU; Rob "Streak" McDonald netting a pair, with singles going to Jumping "Jake " Gray and Derek "Heads up" Holtom.
This one is for Mike "Smitty" Smith and Rick "Whiskey" Liske, the only two leaf fans left in the valley... Oldie but a Goodie....