Saturday, January 30, 2010

SVCU pull out a 12-4 win over the SVRSS Tigers.

SVCU made the trip to the Minitonas  with 9 skaters and a goalie (consisting of 3 pickups from the local Bantam team) Randy "Red Line" Mateika led the club in both breakaways (6) and goals (5).  His performance had the crowd yearning for a return to the years of the  famed Minitonas Eagles "Doubles Line".  Local barkeep Leonard Nakonechny would never leak if the name came from their post-game drinking habits or their jersey numbers - Calvin Knispel (66), Garry Mohr (55), and Randy Mateika (44).
SVCU Rookie Ryan "Cowboy" Keown was flying and picked up his third hat trick of the season, despite having his feet kicked out on several occasions.  Post-game , the veteran SVCU defense corp was found harassing Keown on his lack of face offs won back from the center ice dot.  The consummate professional ,Keown brushed them off and remained focused on commenting that his back felt better after a weekend of busting broncos, than after a match up with the physical SVRSS defense. 
2030 tourney signee Carter (quick as snot) Prieston pocketed five snipes in his SVCU debut. His dangles were reminiscent of a young Brian "Barnes" Minish during the late 80's.
Riley "Big Rig" Morden played a "Strakerish" defense as positional play doesn't appear to be his forte.(runs deep in the family)  That big feces-eating smile will not soon be forgotten though.  As expected there were two minors on the evening both going to the Morden family.  Pat "Pumper" Morden implemented the famed "SVCU Can opener"  to perfection, while Riley "Big Rig" Morden discarded a Tiger, head first into the end boards,  after getting caught pinching for what seemed to be the tenth time..
Manning the net was Drew "Dominator" Denischuk.  Although the shots were limited, Denischuk displayed flypaper characteristics with his outstanding rebound control.
Rounding out the goal scorers were Barry "Snapper" Eggie who dented the twine twice with his famed scccchhhhhnapper.
Warren "Wheels" Gray, Jeremy "OT Kid" Gray, and Craig "Freshly Skate sharpened and glad to be accepted back with open arms" Zamzow posted an aggregate plus 12 on the night, even with the occasional " pine riding " from the coaching staff.
Next action is Wednesday night, it will be a treat as the club gets to view a Stampeder- Blizzard match up followed by the first ever meeting between SVCU and Pelican Rapids.  Game time is 10:15PM.
Craig "Bob McKenzie" Zamzow...
Just one more for the Senator Fans...

Action put it to SVCU...12-4

The ever revolving roster of Swan River Action masterminded the right combination of youth , speed, and experience , to hand a demoralizing loss to SVCU. Facing his former team for the second time this season, Derek "Hot Rod" Holtom was speechless after the game. Off the record Holtom was quoted " At least that Fucking Wally didn't roll the hat on us!" Failing to "Finnish" on countless scoring opportunities, combined with the front end showing a total disregard for defense, SVCU found themselves playing catch up all night long. Compounding matters, once highly regarded SVCU defense man Craig "Traitor" Zamzow, jumped ship, and quietly racked up a hat trick. Murmurs on the bench and dressing room were believed to be  not flattering for the "Bulking" blue liner. Randy " Moves" Matekia again proved that he is more than just a " Stinky F#cking Hockey Bag" as he scored the one and only SVCU high light reel goal. Redemption cannot come soon enough, as SVCU has a Thursday night tangle with the SVRSS Tigers.
BEHIND CLOSE DOORS WITH SVCU GM. DAVE BETTESWORTH AFTER ACTION LOSS...(This is what he dreamt, names have been changed to protect the identity of those accused)

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Ramsay Downholers...

This could possibly be the funniest set of videos that I have seen in a very long time. Set up as a reality based series, it takes you inside a "Beer League" team. It is so well done that rumor has they are currently in post production with a series with Rogers Network picking it up. I will post a link to their website under our favorite links side bar. Check it out fellows, it is f*#cking Hilarious...

Friday, January 22, 2010

14-3 SVCU put Loggers through the "Chipper"...

SVCU was not going to let the news that their stellar Goaltender and post game hydration coordinator Mike "Smitty" Smith could be on the injury reserved list for up to two weeks,set them back.They picked apart the Minitonas defense with the precision and patience of a Hooker at an Agribition. .... Back in the saddle , Ryan "Cowboy" Keowan had a career night, scoring four and assisting on three others. Fellow rookie and line mate Kevin "Special K" Kopecky , not about to be relegated to the fourth line, added  a hat trick. An unbelievable 16 shots on goal by the charismatic czech , 13 finding the soft fleshy mid section of the goaltender, had trainers scrambling to find the right "wood " for the flashy forward. Recent call up Mark "Money in the Bank" Monro earned  a second look based on a strong performance on the previous nights' match. Realizing that this may be his last chance to impress management,  the stout power forward garbage collected two while making himself home in front of the net. Playing in his fifth game in seven nights, SVCU defense men Craig "Chocolate Chip" Zamzow had very little left in the tank. Replenishing  on Gatorade and chocolate chip cookies had little affect as the battling blue liner struggled to find his legs. Free agent puck stopper Jeff "Captain" Blythe made a successful debut. Although not called upon often, the big net minder was forced to bail out his back end on numerous occasions. Rounding out the scoring for SVCU; Rob "Streak" McDonald netting a pair, with singles going to Jumping "Jake " Gray and Derek "Heads up" Holtom.
This one is for Mike "Smitty" Smith and Rick "Whiskey" Liske, the only two leaf fans left in the valley... Oldie but a Goodie....

Thursday, January 21, 2010

12-4 Outlaws run "Lawless" over S.V.C.U.

A short bench,an injured goaltender, and a gang of "Outlaws" proved to be to much as SVCU was handed their worst loss of the season. Just minutes into the game, it was evident that all was not well with stand out puck stopper  Mike "Smitty " Smith. A classic "Butterflyer", Smith was beaten twice low on what would normally be considered "routine" shots. Having lost most of his  lateral mobility, Smith bit the bullet and miraculously played out the string. Darren "Mugsy" Mullin, Hip "Waders" Cable, Mark "Money in the Bank" Munro, and blue liner "Dancing" Danton Ashcroft, all last minute call ups, filled in admirably. On a positive note, a plentiful post game hydration session was enjoyed by all.

Monday, January 18, 2010

S.V.C.U. Tarnish Silver "27"...

A road trip north to the comfy confines of the Bowsman Barn, provided a great start to the weekend for S.V.C.U. Jumping out to an early 3-0 lead, S.V.C.U. continued their offensive onslaught posting an impressive 10-1 victory. Veteran forward Brain "Magic Man" Minish lead all S.V.C.U. scorers with three. Verification from the league statistician, confirms that this was Minish's first "Hat" since joining the parent club in 1984.

Continuing his point production in consecutive games, Rob "Lock Knee" McDonald scored twice and set the plate on two of Minishe's high light reel goals. Opting for the "Two center men, three pair of wingers" system, allowed  fleet footed middlemen Jeff " Nifty" Knight and Ryan "Cowboy" Keowan countless opportunities to show off their creativity. Knight responded with 2 goals , with Keowan adding a single. Not to be out done, SVCU vet Barry "Shooter" Eggie pin pointed his patented snap shot past a bewildered Silver Seven goaltender. Randy "Howie" Mateika brought back the Telestrator to re account the Wrap Around."  Play starts with defense passing the puck off boards to Holiday Holtom. He dumps it behind the net, then I #55 in Gretzky like fashion pick up the loose puck, head up looking for a teammate, who is not in position (black X) , decide to take shot off stunned defender Tyler Mullin's skate, a perfect pool angle shot, and it's in the back of the net before you can say "Buffalo Wings !"

Joining the back end for only the second time this season, rookie utility sensation Kevin "Special K" Kopecky, did not dissapoint. Fitting nicely into the established Run and Gun defensive system created by veteran reargaurds Warren "Wheels" Gray and Craig "Wings" Zamzow, the rookie took it upon himself to score twice,  allowing the veterans a proverbial "Day off at the Office". Next up , a Tuesday evening match up with the Outlaws, should be a dandy.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

S.V.C.U. vs Raiders ... IV.

No one needed any extra motivation to get up for this one as was evident at the frenzied pace of the first period. The Raiders opened the scoring on an odd man rush just moments after Craig "Wing Man" Zamzow went end to end only to be stopped by SVCU Alumnus Warren "Wall" Clark. Tipping in a picture perfect pass, Neil "Kid " Kichuk knotted the game at one. Playing the final 3 minutes of the period short handed, standout goalkeeper Mike "Smitty" Smith made two brilliant saves keeping the game all square.
After falling behind 3-1 part way through the second on goals by pesky Raider forward Chris Hunt, SVCU pulled to within one as "Disco" Darren Knight slipped one through the pads of the Raiders net minder. Playing short handed once more on a questionable tripping call on old school forward Pat "Crash" Morden, a Raider turnover at their blue line enabled Craig " Wing Man" Zamzow to dipsy doodle through the defense and slip a shorthanded marker inside the post blocker side. Minutes later Warren "Wheels" Gray took a long breakout pass from Mexico Bound Blaine "Soup" Campbell and made no mistake on the breakaway as he ripped a shot high over the glove of Clark. The PK was called upon once again as Blaine "Soup" Campbell was called for a mystery hook in the late stages of the game. SVCU (sporting their new "Tiger Red jerseys") were able to kill the penalty with some timely saves from Smith, who once again gave the CU faithful their monies worth. The goaltender adversaries of Clark and Smith staged an epic puck stopping clinic during the final minutes of the game, as SVCU held on to secure a 4-3 victory.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Two wins to begin 2010...

Credit Union Old Timer's began the New Year on a winning note defeating S.R.F.C. 16-4, following that up with a 10-4 victory over the Kenville Flyers. The all rookie line of Derek "Holiday" Holtom, Ryan "Cowboy" Keowan , and Kevin "Special K" Kopecky scored early and often. Holtom , skating for the first time since returning from a lengthy Florida vacation, appeared to be having trouble finding not only his legs but also his lungs. Reunited for the first time in two years, the line of McDonald - Gray - Gray also contributed offensively finding the back of the net no less than 6 times. The defensive trio of Blaine "Run and Gun" Campbell, Craig "Wing Man" Zamzow, and Chris "Scramble " Zamzow, provided a high Octane push from the back end, jumping up on countless rushes.
A Thursday night road trip down I-83 can only mean one thing "Wings!" After disposing of the Flyer's 10-4 on an impressive 6 goal performance by Jeremy "Goooaaall" Gray, the team headed upstairs to let their true colors shine through. Buckling under pressure, and the possibility of failing to be re-elected next year, current S.V.C.U. president and rushing rearguard Blaine " Cheque Book" Campbell opened up the club coiffures, amidst cheers and chants of "Soup eee" and "El Presidente" .